and i'm confuse (again!)

Do you still remember what I wrote in my last post? I wrote that I can handle this, ok, this is the fact:
bibb, he is a boy from my past, (yeah...), I love him so much, but then, because one thing, we never talking each other again,
then, buruak, he is a boy from my past (again), I do not like him like I suppose to be, I just like him like a sister to her brother,
but then, he always beside me, he always there whenever I need someone,
so many time pasted away,
then, buruak come back, with his lovely behavior, I started like him like a girl like a good boy, I mean, he is really nice boy. Every girl, who knows he will like him so much. Good looking, good behavior, he always there whenever I need him, and so on. But then it is not good, because he had a girlfriend, and thousands reason that I can write here. It is just wrong!
Then, bibb come back, with his mysteriously behavior, and I still love him. But, bibb give me no reason, I mean, he just like a boy who just wanted make a friend with me, and I still love him.
How can this make sense?
I mean, it is just so confused!
Me, a girl, who do not trusted my self at all, so, here I am, with my confusing heart. I am on waiting position. I am not the one who decide what would this story end. Will bibb love me like I love him? Will I get my own story? I just can wait.
Right now, I am on a good relationship with bibb. Sms, wall, massage. But, you know, it is ‘just’ that. There is no real relationship. I just can wait (again!).
With buruak, I just have to go with the flow. Replay his massage, answer his call, hangout with him, eat ice cream, KFC, and so on. But it is just until that. We had a borderline.
So, what should I call my self? Poor girl? Confused girl?
I am just trying to handle my heart. Wish me for that.


trash-trash-trash!!!