Feel The Wind

i just searched for my new obsession, i mean, i need it. like some thing you always thinking and make you happy when you found it.
and then, i found one thing. but... i mean, i thought it will be some one, not some thing, hehe....

i used to obsessed about Justin Bieber, but i don't. i mean, i'm writing a story that inspired by him, ok most of it right now, and it is not gonna finish until i have new thing to write. but i can't obsessed for him, i just can't. i don't know what's wrong with me. which girl in this world who not obsessed by him now? I AM!

so, here we go...

my new obsession is... FASHION!!

but not like others, i mean my others obsession, i don't really think it is a good obsession for me.

see, fashion is about 'how do you look'. and i never think about it in a whole my life before this time. see what i mean? it is not gonna working.

but then, i think again. how it is gonna be a problem? no it is not. i remember my prophet said that "hygiene is partly of faith". it is meaning that i have to concern too about "how do i look", then it will be part of hygiene, right? and then it is gonna be part of mt faith.

and i think more. if i concern about 'how do i look', then i will be prettier, right??
ahaha...
it is just one of many bonus if i do it.

i have a dream that some day i will have my own clothing line. you know? it is not gonna be working if i never concern about my own body.
if i concern about it from now, then 'one day' i just need to continue it. and i will have a very fabulous clothing line then.

my problem is, i have no money. fashion is about cost. you need more money if you wanna get better look. and if i trying to make a clothing line, i need a camera too. and i have been dream about it this all along. a DSLR camera i think.

then about my body. i have no such a good body. i am short, fat, black one. how do i can be a fashionista with that??

i don't know how it's going then. we will see.

tomorrow i get to UPI for being a flower girl, ahaha...
it is just funny a name i called my self. 'flower girl'???

if i success with that, and i got much money, may be i will try it.

just now, i try it in my tumblr. i get it a fashion-sweet thing-blablabla blog, and make this one a blog that a place i got my real mind out.

see ya later!

i messed up! didn't i??

trash-trash-trash!!!

belakangan ini aku banyak mengalami, bukan, memikirkan, hal-hal aneh.
sampai-sampai aku mendapatkan mimpi aneh-aneh juga.

semisal, naskah novelnya di tolak mentah-mentah dengan disertakan surat 'pencaci-makian' dari redaksi.

terus ada juga mimpi soal aku yang gelandangan, terus harus tidur di wc umum yang sangat menjijikkan. sedangkan untuk tidur di sana pun kami harus memiliki izin, karena berebut dengan gelandangan lainnya. akhirnya aku tahu, tahu aja, kalau adang aku, adek mama yang paling gede ternyata pejabat di daerah itu. terus anga, adek mama yang menengah, menghubungkan aku dengan adang. terus aku ke rumah adang, dan rumah adang itu keren banget!!! kayak rumah minimalis yang selama ini aku impi-impikan. lengkap dengan taman-taman di dalam rumah.

terus mimpi 'dia', keadaannya memburuk banget-banget. dia sama sekali nggak sehat.

ntah apa yang terjadi sama otakku sebenernya. kata seorang teman aku, mimpi itu hanyalah pemikiran sebelum tidur yang terealisasi ke dalam mimpi. padahal aku nggak mikir ke arah sana sama sekali sebelum tidur.

oia, sebelum mimpi yang itu, aku juga mimpi soal 'dia'. aku mimpi aku itu di rumah, di nes, di jambi, terus nggak tau dateng dari mana, ada dia. kayaknya kau bawa dia ke sana, karena aku khawatir mama dan abak dak setuju aku bawa dia ke sana gitu. terus aku masak kolak, dia temenin, yang gitu-gitu lah.

aneh-aneh aja. mimpi olla ramlan dancing in the rain, gag jelas banget.

ya lah....


trash-trash-trash!!!

mimpi saat ini bisa dikatakan sebagai tujuan hidup, apa yang ingin diraih, dan sebagainya. tapi pada awalnya mimpi itu berarti bunga tidur.
aku belakangan ini banyak mengalami mimpi aneh.

terus aku juga ada baca novel, judulny here, after, isinya skeptic, kyak aku. hehehe....

katanya hidup itu kalau udah lewat, akan jadi memori, sedangkan mimpi, ketika kita bangun, hanya akan jadi memori.

ini sebuah kutipan dari film kata novel itu:

they say that dreams are only real as long as they last. couldn't you say the same thing about life?

ini aku kutip puisi dari novel itu :

a candy-colored clown they call the sandman
tiptoes to my room every night
just to sprinkle stardust and to whisper
go to sleep! everything is all right.

i close my eyes then i drift away
into the magic night. i softly say
a silent prayer like dreamers do.
then i fall asleep to dream my dreams of you.

in dreams i walk with you, in dreams i talk to you.
in dreams you're mine. all of the time were together
in dream, in dream.

but just before the dawn, i awake and find you gone.
i can't help it, i can't help, if i cry.
i remember that you said goodbye.

it's too bad that all these things, can only happen in my dreams
only in dreams in beautiful dreams.

hidup tak lebih nyata dibanding mimpi.
waktu tak lebih dari sekedar ilusi.
semua akan menguap menjadi ilusi.

huff...

trash-trash-trash!!!

he was always looking far beyond me,
far beyond me, towards something in the distance.
i'm sure i would'nt be able to give he what he truly desire,
but still... despite that....
tomorrow, the day after that, and beyond that....
...I know I'll still be helplessly in love with him.. :)

last night i was watching a movie, it is an anime. and a girl in that movie is saying this. and i in love with those word that second. hihi....


trash-trash-trash!!!

catatan : mata aku sampai sakit karena terlalu dekat ke layar kepengen liat warna matanya bang Chris, ternyata matanya keren! (aku juga gag tau itu warnanya apa, yang jelas keren banget! pengen punya suami yang matanya gitu, hihi...)

trash-trash-trash!!!

aku kemaren posting soal aku emosi itu y? ternyata nggak segitunya. gini ceritanya.

dia emang udah mau off aja kali. dia kan maennya di warnet. pagi2nya, pas sekitar jam 8 gitu, dia ngirim wall kok, blg thx. terus siangnya aku makan siang di barak asrama sama temen, eh liat dia. lama aku di sana. sering banget aku lirik-lirik dia. dan menurut aku sih, aku sering ketemu mata ama dia, tapi seperti biasa, dia mah pura-pura gag liat aku. aku ini kan invisible gitu kalo di mata dia. hehe...

terus malemnya aku oll, terus dia nyapa aku, "ouphaaa..." gitu, seneng banget akunya. ada chat bentar, abis itu dia ngilang mendadak lagi. ya suu lah, padahal aku pake update status gitu, berharap dia baca. ckck...

kasiannya nasib anakmu ini mak...

ni temen aku nih yang ngasih tau lagu ini sama aku. maksudnya aku juga tau kok lagu ini, cuma dia mengingatkan kembali lagi aja. itu loh, temenku yang punya nasib sama sama aku itu, hihi....

ywdh, dengerin aja lagunya, ni liriknya.

"Fix You"

When you try your best, but you don't succeed
When you get what you want, but not what you need
When you feel so tired, but you can't sleep
Stuck in reverse

And the tears come streaming down your face
When you lose something you can't replace
When you love someone, but it goes to waste
Could it be worse?

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you

And high up above or down below
When you're too in love to let it go
But if you never try you'll never know
Just what you're worth

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you

Tears stream down on your face
When you lose something you cannot replace
Tears stream down on your face
And I...

Tears stream down on your face
I promise you I will learn from my mistakes
Tears stream down on your face
And I...

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you

trash-trash-trash!!!

aku udah lama suka banget sama lagu ini, liriknya juga udah lama aku posting toh? tapi ini tadi abis jalan2 k youtube, yadah...
hihi... :D

trash-trash-trash!!!